Thursday, July 18, 2013

Review: The Wingman Chronicles by James Holeva

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James Holeva, aka "The Wingman," is as classy as he is crass. His life
is a dirty ride of uncouth adventures involving weddings, proms,
threesomes, soccer moms, models, strippers, balconies, bedrooms,
backseats and bathroom stalls. No details are spared in this humorous,
erotic, autobiographical novel depicting all of his hedonistic
debauchery. Full of jaw-dropping moments, gut-busting laughs and
multiple orgasms, "The Wingman Chronicles" will make you laugh and
orgasm at the same time.

Angela & Alexis say:

The Wingman Chronicles... Where do we start with this book? How about with a little warning. We are going to be posting quotes from the book that are graphic in nature, and our own opinions, equally graphic. If you aren’t 18 or older, and if you aren’t reading with an open mind, it might be time to close your browser window or perhaps get ready to bleach your eyes out. Let the fun begin!

Angela: The Wingman Chronicles is a collection of nasty, supposedly true, short stories about comedian James Holeva. I’m not quite sure where the term “Wingman” comes from, because Urban Dictionary defines a Wingman as someone who is “there to “occupy” the least attractive girl of the pair so that you may engage in the hot girl”. I don’t think Mr. Holeva was so generous. He was pretty much after the hot girls for himself in these stories. There are random encounters with strangers, plus a couple of longer term relationships described in the book. While I started out appalled, I have to admit that by the second or third chapter, I found myself giggling a little bit. By the fourth chapter I couldn’t put the book down, and I found myself strangely and creepily attracted to “The Wingman”. (Yes, I am ashamed to admit it)

Alexis: This book is definitely not my type of go-to book, but I'm glad I decided to leave my comfort zone. Everything that Angela said above is completely true. James is a player, but not any kind of player, he's a high class player (his words)! In order to be good in bed, he takes theold adage, "practice makes perfect" and beds half of the East Coast, or so it seems. I don't really view James as a "Wingman" according to Urban Dictionary either. There was one part inthe book where he got the more attractive girl while his friend sat on the couch with the girl's friend while James was getting 2 BJs for the cost of 1. There were a few chapters that I can't actually believe are true, yes I am talking about the funeral chapter! But, then there were some chapters that I actually laughed so hard I had tears. In the last chapter I actually felt bad for him, which is shocking considering I wanted to hate him for half of the book. For me, James walks a very thin line between vile (he actually has pictures on his phone of what he's packing) and hot (apparently he's packing a "hard 8"). In the end, the "hard 8" wins and I too am attracted to him in a way I can't explain.

Angela:  Come on Alexis, you never know when you are going to need to prove what you have to offer via text message! I really find myself wanting to say so much, but I would end up pretty much telling the entire book. I think this is one you pretty much have to buy and read yourself. You just won’t believe it until you read it. You will be shocked and disgusted, but you will freaking love it! Plus, I’m sure The Wingman will need the money for condoms...and possibly oral antibiotics. I’m giving it 4 stars, because I can’t stop thinking about it, and I made my husband talk about it with me, which I almost never do.

Alexis: Angela, you have a valid point about the text messages, LOL! There were a couple of stories that I had to tell my husband as well because they were so outrageous, though I think he might be a bit jealous of all my "James-talk". I definitely enjoyed this book and give it 4 stars as well. I have to admit I love a man with a filthy mouth and the confidence of Napoleon. If I was either single or we turned the clock back 11 years, I would totally be DTF with Mr. Holeva.

Here are our favorite quotes from Mr. Casanova himself:

"Yes, I may be a player, but I'm not 'The Situation', I'm Sinatra."

"As one of my earliest mentors once told me, "Eat em' for twenty and you could fuck em' for two... That's how you get the stud status."

"I certainly didn't want to cockblock my own cock. He would never forgive me."

"What... Don't get dressed. It's a disservice to both of us to go halfway. I don't like to do things half assed. That's not how I was raised."

“I wasn't surprised, because a player can bring the pornstar out of a nun.”

“I pulled out my Blackberry and scrolled through the vast portfolio of cock pics.  Different angles, looks, levels of hair and hardness, a few costumes-I kept about five-hundred with me at all times.  You never know if a girl will want to see one on a cold day, and I’m a grower, not a shower.”

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1 comment:

  1. Definitely sounds like an interesting read :) Not my normal, but it could be entertaining.